


Where do we go from here?

by archdyke



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Lena Luthor Gets a Hug, or: the one where lena finds out and she doesn't know how to feel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:59:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archdyke/pseuds/archdyke
Summary: “I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”Lena swirls her glass. “Yeah. Me too.”She finishes her drink and pours herself another. Lena is angry and worried, scared and terrified. She could list all the synonyms and adjectives in the world, but none of them come close to encompassing the complicated web of emotions that she’s tangled in.





	Where do we go from here?

Lillian truly believes that she has the upper hand with Lena because she knows Supergirl’s true identity. She’s certain this betrayal will bring Lena over to her side.

But Lena starts laughing. It’s not a warm laughter, it’s cold and mirthless. She’s flat out sputtering in her face. 

Lillian scoffs, “Are you even listening to me? She’s been lying to you this whole time. Don’t tell me you actually think Kara is your friend.” 

(Lena briefly recalls asking Supergirl why she’s trying so hard to be her friend.)

“I can’t believe you.” Lena sneers. “If you think this is going to make me abandon all I’ve worked for, you really don’t know me at all.” 

It needs to be made crystal clear that Lena Luthor taking a stance against her family’s destructive legacy has never been about Supergirl. It isn’t fuelled by her innate desire of proving herself worthy to the most powerful person around.

 “You’re pathetic, Lillian.” The sour look she gives Lena is satisfying.  

* * *

Alex visits Lillian after the Red Daughter attack.   
  
“What a shame,” Lillian sighs, “You’re not the Danvers I was hoping to see.” 

She might’ve recently regained her memories, but to the guards, Supergirl’s identity is still a secret she needs to protect. 

Alex grabs Lillian Luthor by the cuff of her shirt. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

She leans forward and whispers, “It means that I had a talk with my dear daughter and now someone’s little secret is all out in the open. She was not pleased to find out.” 

* * *

 Alex shows up at Lena’s doorstep later that evening. It's 2AM and she’s not sure what to say.

“Uh. Can I come in?” Alex shuffles around the threshold until Lena nods. “Lillian told me.”

“Ah. You’ve come to make sure I’m still on your side.”

“No. I don’t doubt you. I’m not going to lie, back when you first came into the picture I was suspicious of your motives. But Kara was adamant about your innocence, and she didn’t give up until I admitted I was wrong.”  

Lena chuckles. Of course, Kara did that. It stings. 

“I–I’m sorry you had to find out like this.”

Lena swirls her glass. “Yeah. Me too.”

She finishes her drink and pours herself another. It’s an uncomfortable mirror image of Alex’ own coping mechanisms. “Lillian thought this would hurt me so much that I’d ‘see the light’ or something equally pretentious. The most fucked up part about this is she was only partially wrong.” 

Lena is not okay and hasn’t been for a very long time. She’s angry and worried, scared and terrified. She can list all the synonyms and adjectives in the world, but none of them come close to encompassing the complicated web of emotions that she’s tangled in.

“Her mistake was assuming I’d lash out. Turn my hurt into hatred.” 

She reaches for the bottle but grips around thin air.  

“You’ve had enough to drink.”

Lena glares at Alex through her blurry vision. “You still haven’t told me why you’re here.” She’s given a glass of water. Lena gulps down the water. It’s cold.

“J’onn had to alter my memory to make me forget that Kara was Supergirl. Haley got her hands on a truth seeker, and anything I knew about Supergirl’s identity was a liability, so we took it away.” 

It’s there and then that Lena sees how red and puffy Alex’ eyes are. 

“And Kara almost died tonight, and that’s when I remembered.”

 No three words could make Lena sober up quicker.  _Kara almost died._

She hasn’t even begun processing the greater implications of Kara and Supergirl being one and the same.  _Kara almost died._

* * *

The second time someone knocks on her door, it’s Kara. They sit down on the couch and part of Lena feels the need to apologise, to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness. She pushes that aside.

"I don’t know how to do this, Kara. I don’t know what’s real anymore, if anything is.”

Kara’s superpowers are no match for the whirlwind of emotions racing through her body. She’s relieved because she doesn’t have to lie to her best friend anymore, and she’s terrified by the thought of losing Lena.

Her voice trembles, “Lena, I'm–”

“No, I have to say this, because it’s eating me up inside. How am I meant to reconcile the two of you? You’re a walking contradiction, berating me as Supergirl and acting all innocent as Kara? You can’t possibly look me in the eyes and tell me that isn’t fucked up.“

There are so many loose and frayed ends that Kara isn’t sure where to begin stitching everything back together. "You’re right.”

“I’m so tired. And even though you’re right here I still miss you so much that it hurts.”

And Kara, sweet Kara, cheeks wet with tears and heart heavy with regret. She opens her arms and gulps. “Can I… hug you?"

Lena wraps her arms around Kara and sighs deeply. Her heart aches. “You almost died.” 

“Yeah.”

Lena wipes her face with the sleeve of her shirt. She rests her head on Kara’s lap. “Just so you know, we’re still not okay.”

Lena closes her eyes as Kara runs her fingers through her hair. In a universe is full of confusion and misery, the one certainty is how much Kara and Lena care for each other. And maybe that’s enough for now. It’s more than either of them could’ve hoped for.


End file.
